Movie Review: Beowulf 3-D

Beowulf
rated PG-13 for Intense sequences of Violence including disturbing images, sexual material and nudity
Filmmaking- 3 1/2 out of 5 stars
Moral Rating: Offensive
Overall: 3 out of 5 stars

Beowulf is one of those classic tales that everyone has heard of. You may not have read it before, but undoubtedly you know of the epic poem of the viking Beowulf, and how he slew the monster Grendel that was terrorizing King Hrothgar's people in Denmark.
This story had the potential to be an amazing movie. The story features fights, monsters, vikings, and dragons. What more could you ask for? Unfortunately, director Robert Zemeckis saw fit to destroy the story by incorporating a relationship between Grendel's mother and Beowulf into the plot that results in an illegitimate son that can shift shapes into a dragon. Yes, that does result in a fight between father and son that results in Beowulf ripping the dragon's heart out with his bare hands.

Filmmaking was very well done overall. The new digital animation was dazzling, with characters that looked almost exactly like their real life counterparts. That ended up being a problem however. More on that later. The vistas, fights, and weather effects were amazing; but the characters themselves lacked something that a live action movie would have had- emotion. At times it was like watching dolls and being expected to sympathize. If you don't feel they are human, how can you? The story is where this movie loses its stars. This movie had the potential to be really good, but as I stated before, Zemeckis messed it up by changing the story and removing some of the heroic traits that the original gave to Beowulf.

Morally speaking, this movie was terrible. Zemeckis saw fit to dirty up the script with a lot of sexual innuendos, implied relations, and most offensively, nudity. The nudity was so extensive, in fact, that had this movie been live action, it would have automatically been given an R rating. In his epic fight with Grendel, Beowulf is completely naked, often showing his backside to the audience. He is glimpsed from the front, but- comically- things are placed so that you just cant make anything out- whether it is an elbow, smoke, or a sword hilt. The most offensive nudity comes in the shape of Grendel's mother, however. Played by Angelina Jolie, she reportedly was embarrassed at how much of her was shown- which was all of it. As a sensual seductress, she appears emerging from the water completely naked, dripping with gold. Nothing is disguised from here on out whenever she appears. Because of the animation however, certain body parts were "modified" to prevent it from being too graphic. However, The animation was still rather realistic, particularly with her chest. Because of this, I am not recommending this movie to anyone.
The fighting was really graphic, and when the 3-D technology got involved, blood would drip on people, along with spears and arrows being shot past. Dismembered body parts would crash in front of you, people's heads would be ripped off. Flesh is sliced down and internal organs crash into the water, people are ripped in half. This is no kiddie movie! If you are weak of heart, do not see Beowulf!

Overall, I was disappointed in Beowulf. It was a lot of fun to see in 3-D, but because of the nudity, extremely graphic violence, and the weak morality in the plot, I don't want to recommend this movie to anyone under 18. If you can handle the violence and nudity, it is worth it to see the movie in the new stunningly beautiful 3-D technology. Otherwise, stay at home.

Signing out, The Buckland Fiddler